Taking care of business

I guess I let the deadline for making new years’ resolutions come and go. I’m not that torn up about it. Resolutions just end up causing me to feel like a failure a day or so in anyway. However, I have been about evaluating the stuff in my life and have decided I need some benchmarks to strive for. I’m done nursing the wounds of 2010. Hope you are too. Time to get back on the horse and ride off into a different sunset.

I’m a creative guy. I like writing and sharing music. I like blogging sometimes, sharing observations, convictions, whatever. I enjoy taking pictures of things and people I find beautiful. I like being with other creative people. I’m happiest when I’m being creative. I know this shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me, but recently I kinda woke up to this realization and I haven’t been able to shake it. So I’m preparing to make creativity a bigger part of my daily life.

I prefer to be an open book. But I’ve been guarded, careful with what I share about myself with people who have done plenty to earn my trust. I sometimes feel isolated and it’s my own fault. Sometimes I nod and smile when I should speak up, defend my heart and the hearts of those dear to me. So I’m gonna risk more for the sake of having deeper, more meaningful relationships.

I’m essentially a dreamer. But sadly, in recent years, I’ve forgotten how to dream. Now you may think that’s an emotionally charged sentence and I suppose it is. I’m really just admitting a weakness in me, because I do think strong, confident people dream no matter what. When things got rough, I put dreams away for the sake of survival. I’m not proud of that. Now that I’ve moved from the riptide to the gentler ebb and flow of life, I realize what the absence of dreaming and pursuing those dreams has cost me. So now I’m gonna dream.

I love Jesus. Faith is a huge pervasive part of my life. My love for Christ should always be reflected in how I treat strangers and friends alike. My belief in His words should color what I tell myself in my darkest moments. My worship of Him should put an end to my worship of anything else. I should let faith tell me how to spend, how to vote, how to listen and how to rest. So I’m gonna love Jesus better.

There they are, off my chest, out of my head and onto my laptop. They aren’t the usual “I’m gonna lose ten pounds....I’m gonna call my grandmother more....I’m gonna put more money in my 401k.” I’ve made those too. I figure if I paint this year with a broader brush I’m bound to accomplish some of those things anyway.

If you notice me walking a little taller, speaking up a little louder or being a little more eccentric, you can thank 2011 for finally showing up and reminding me to take care of business. And myself.